One of those days

December 1, 2020

Dear Mark,

If I were closer I would go to you today. Son, I pray that at the moment of your death Jesus was there. You learned about him when you were a child and at one time 'invited him into your heart'. I hope in that instant you turned to him for mercy. I only have consolation knowing that our God is outside of time and could surely grant you one final opportunity to repent of sin with hope of eternal life in heaven with Him and where I hope to see and hug you again.

Like I said before, you would have been happy to see your family together, Mark. All because of our love for you. I know your final day on this earth was terrible. And, I don't know any details except very high level of course. I think everyone is still piecing together details on the circumstances on your last day.

Baby Mark is precious. He's adorable and looks just like you. We don't know what his future life will be like without you but you can be sure your family will do the best to take care of him. Everyone talked about how much you loved him and he will know it. I met Wade and Amaya and they were so loving with their little brother. This made me happy. They sure loved you too.

Everyone has returned back home now and I guess we're all starting the healing process without you. It's strange. I feel like I should be moving on and not talking about your passing all the time. It will take time. This is hard on all of us. Even though you and I didn't have the relationship with each other that we both wanted in the last few years, I never doubted our love. I'm just sorry now that I didn't know you as a young man more that I did. I always assumed we'd have time. I'm so sorry we don't now. My heart hurts - deeply.

I know you struggled in this life and made some bad choices and had to live with those consequences like we all do. Our Lord heard every prayer of those who loved you and prayed for you during your hard times. He heard yours too. Rest now - - all of our struggles, weaknesses, addictions and sins are done now. I know our faith teaches us that God is just and fair. Lord, please in your justice grant mercy. Loving Mother Mary, I gave Mark to you. Ask your son Jesus to embrace him into his kingdom please?

I love you, Mark and I'm so sorry that we didn't have total reconciliation. I pray for your comfort during any purification that you may be going through. Mom