Diamond In The Rough

June 7, 2021:

It's interesting how many sides we have isn't it? You were a lot of things to a lot of people; son, grandson, brother, nephew, cousin, uncle, friend, boyfriend & lover, aquaintance and most recently, Daddy. Everyone who knew you knew a certain side of your life. Some good...some bad...but mostly both sides at some point or another. Even as your mom, I only saw certain things at certain times. I always longed for more, but knew that was just how it goes.

Pick just about any adjective and someone who crossed your path would attribute it to you, Mark. One of the universal things that everyone (and I mean everyone!) had to say about you after you passed among other things, was the memory of your smile. Oh, and your laugh! And yes, I can see and hear both even now because they are etched in my heart.

These many facets remind me of what a beautiful soul you actually are. Like a diamond in the rough. Not readily recognized at first glance, but with a worth that is actually much, much more that any diamond could be. I am not sure that you ever really understood your true value yourself. I know, in your teen years you didn't because you told me so. More than once actually. I would tell you otherwise and you kinda brushed me off with the 'You only think so cuz you're my mom.' . It was always my prayer for you that you would see more clearly as you grew to be a man. I hope you did.

The idiom 'Diamond in the rough' actually means someone that has hidden qualities that with some 'polishing' will really shine. Those hidden qualities and potential were always seen by those who loved you, even when it was 'rough'. Maybe they weren't always manifested like we thought they could be, but we always knew they were there. That's what made you lovable. The truth is, those who loved you saw both.

God of course always knew your potential, beauty and worth. That's why he created you. I used to tell you that, all the time! In your short life he chiseled ( painfully at times), ground, polished, clarified and made something remarkable, valuable and lasting - your soul. Even though your body is separated from your soul now, it's my prayer that in your current state God continues to work mercifully for you. Now you are hidden more than ever from us, but not from him. I pray to have eyes of faith always. Faith that God is faithful even when we aren't. That God has a plan and always has - for you and for all of us. Yes, you're like a Diamond in the Rough. Aren't we all? I love and miss you, Mark.